So we find some quack doctor to say that his research shows that lobotomies make you healthier and richer and more powerful. Maybe even make your penis larger. And then liberals get furious and make a big stink about how this is bad and will damage anyone who gets a lobotomy. We bring in brain doctors, maybe even Ben Carson, to testify, telling the truth. But then Fucker Carlson will say "Why are liberals against lobotomies? Are they afraid that the truth will come out? We have a right to know." That will cause an immediate surge in demand from the MAGAts, so we won't have to mandate them.